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Today marks the first day of my journey to develop my very own set of philosophies that will encompass all aspects of life, or rather, my life. It will be an extremely tedious process but I believe I have to do it and I will do it, with the help I'm going to get from others. There are 7 things which I think are essential for this.

1) A decent level of command of the language (in this case, English, especially the vocabs)
2) Strong critical analytical skills
3) Knowledge pertaining to the relevant academics (current affairs, histories, philosophies etc.)
4) Good social life
5) Support from people
6) Self efficacy (believing that I can do it)
7) Dictionary

The psychological and emotional state that I will experience in this process would probably take on the shape of a sine curve with varying amplitudes.

The aim of this is to acquire the ability to eliminate the lacunae in my thoughts and arguments, such that, I will be able to hold my grounds firmly and not falter against anyone's challenge on my views on things, including my art.

With this, I hope to become a better artist with strong concepts and substance in the works I produce.

Here, I end my entry with two favorite quotes from Bruce Lee -

“All knowledge ultimately means self knowledge. To be a martial artist means also to be an artist of life.”

“Each man, belongs to a style which claims to possess truth to the exclusion of all other styles. These styles become institutes with their explanations of the “Way,” dissecting and isolating the harmony and firmness and gentleness, establishing rhythmic forms as the particular state of their techniques.” The consequence was to bypass the purpose of martial arts and create “flowery forms” and “artificial techniques” that become “ritualistically practiced.”

My Hare & Tortoise Shoes!

Took a break from the usual work and did this last night! Am very surprised that the focus lines can actually be created without too much trouble. These 2 images are my 2 favourite pages of the hare and tortoise comic assignment i did last semester.

below is the superimposed images on the white shoes:

and below is the actual finished shoes!:

Absolutely not absolute.

I guess i've always liked absolutes. Absolutes like the speed of light in vacuum, the amount of energy in our universe, the time it takes for anything with mass to drop to the ground from let's say a height of 10m in vacuum, or the resulting color of mixing 10ml of Brand X's Ultramarine Blue with 10ml of Brand X's Burnt Sienna. Idealist? No. Coward? Most likely. A coward who doesn't like variables in some things in life. In a universe where any earth-shaking and life-changing decision can be made or changed anytime anyone likes, I'm not even sure when I can put my trust in anything or anyone anymore. Sometimes I can't even trust myself, let alone others. I know that there are no such thing as absolute. I know. Not in our universe at least. But still, my mind is moulded or haywired in such a manner that I can't help not believing/desire it.

In a universe where the only absolute is that there is no absolute, I shouldn't even frown my eyebrows a bit if tomorrow some hardcore scientist discovers that the speed of light is not constant in vacuum in this universe.

A change is what I need. A change in my mindset. I will work hard to change the way I think. But it's not something I can achieve overnight. I need time.

Love while I still can, play while I still can, draw while I still can, but try not to cling onto any hope in anything in life.

To quote from a friend, ' 不再执着于生命中无法控制的事物。'

Free my mind.

Note: Speed of light can be slowed down by many mediums, most significantly when it is passed through a superfluid (slowed down to 17m/s), or even be brought to a complete halt through some special means. However, it is a misconception to think of speed of light as the fastest speed in the universe. Strictly speaking, speed of light is the fastest possible speed at which matter or information can travel from one point to another. Speeds faster than speed of light have been measured by physicists, but of course, none of them involve the transmission of matter or information.

Getting published soon!

R.E.M is undergoing production now. Will be published soon!

A sappy otaku. LOL

Once again, a good manga series ended. I can't bear to see it end but I know it has to end. It is these mixed feelings that make japanese manga series so damn awesome.

At least to me, they are.

It is these mixed feeling that make me want to draw manga. I can never forget the moment when Dragonball ended. - I was looking through the mass of characters one by one and recalling on how each of them got acquainted to Goku through the plethora of events that took place around him in his lifetime. I find it amusing that I actually saw him grow up chapter by chapter, from a hopelessly ignorant kid who belonged to the lowest class of the Saiyan species to a selfless hero that saved the whole universe.

Or when Slam Dunk ended. - I was worrying for Sakuragi about his spine and the various possible scenarios of him challenging even stronger opponents such as the young gigantic dude who knocked him down. I also remember the endless discussions and speculations about the possibility of Slam Dunk 2 just because we simply love that series too much.

Or even the first initial ending of Doraemon when Doraemon had to leave Nobita to return to the future and Nobita struggled desperately in the fight against his classmate Giant only to assure his best friend that he can return to the future without having to worry about him.

And many many more other manga series.

These characters grew up with me and demonstrated to me how it is like to fight for one's dreams. Just like how Sena Kobayakawa, who bears the title of the strongest runner of this era, Eyeshield 21, never stops chasing his dreams, I'll not stop as well. For there is no end to the field of dreams. BYEBYE, 21.

I will find my One Piece some day.

poke poke



Check out my HOKUSAI canvas shoes!

Below: Great Wave

Below: Fuji

My mum is back home!

Now her left leg is straighter than her right leg. Hope she'll be able to walk better soon!
mum and bern,

i miss you.

mum had her knee operation this afternoon. When she was out, i was the first family member she saw. She was in her patient clothes with tubes plugged into her hand. She had that frowned look (the look when one is in great discomfort). I wanted to cry when i saw all these. I held back my tears because i don't cry in front of my parents. I held back. But my dad could not. I knew that if i start to talk my tears will burst out so i din talk much throughout the visit. She really suffered a lot for us. Her legs were crooked to the point that normal people wld find it hard to look at them. It was due to her cartilege being worn off completely. She hanged on in the last decade, working from morning till night almost EVERY SINGLE DAY, to earn that humble amount of salary to bring us up. She couldn't walk properly. She could only 'slide' her feet. But she hanged on. The nature of her work as a dish washer required her to stand all day long. She came back every night complaining about the pain. Some of her collegues have really nasty character and of coz, they bullied her. She hanged on. I talked back at her a lot. I want to change that. Sometimes i'd cry when i talk to bern about her. I inherited the cry-when-i-am-touched/cry-when-i-see-my-loved-ones-in-pain from my dad. Now that her left knee has been operated on, i really want her to be able to walk better and feel less pain and when the time comes, have her right knee fixed so she can walk like a normal person, with straight legs. I want my parents to have a better life.

She'll be discharged in 2 to 3 days. Usually we'll have our doors closed at night and my mum wld come in to say her version of 'good night' before they close theirs.

Tonight i left mine opened, coz my dad left his opened.

All these are things that i will not say to my parents. As for the other woman of my life, I'll tell her everything in person <3!

Let it go...

This wave of assignments was like a war. I knew it from the beginning that I would lose this war and indeed, I lost. However, this defeat has made me learn something - to let go.

I had been a slacker during Yr 1 and overly hardworking in Yr 2 (until so far). Why was I a slacker in Yr 1? It was not my intention to slack to be honest, but I guess I was unable to adapt back to school life after NS. Also, none of the modules really interest me except for erm... you know. Most importantly, it was hard for me to be an art student. As a result, my GPA at the end of Yr 1 was shit.

When Yr 2 finally came, I found myself in love with all the modules (except for the bloody Asian Art) so much that I actually enjoyed schooling every single day, no bluff (again, except on the days when I had my Asian Art lessons). Soon enough, I found myself staying in school more often and sleeping less and less to work on my stuff. I remembered drawing until even my fingers started to feel numb. For the first time since uni began, I felt that I'm moving closer to realise my dreams. I talked so much about realising my dreams (the first time I ever felt so was during the period before NS when I took up a manga drawing course and when I started publishing my manga), but there is yet another reason for why I am working so hard. I wanted to erase Yr 1 from my memory (I meant only the academic part of it). The more I enjoy Yr 2, the more I find Yr 1(the academic part!) a complete waste of time and worst still, it ruined my results.

When Yr 2 sem 1's results were released, I was stunned. To me, it was almost a perfect score (except for an A- and... B- for Asian Art). I told myself that I am going to keep it up and pull up my GPA to beyond 4.2. I have been able to keep up with the pace that I set for myself and if I maintain it until the end of the semester, it's very possible for me to achieve that goal.

However, after getting the collective comments from Bern and my friends (that I push myself too hard) and after going through this most recent and insane wave of assignments, a question popped up - At what cost?

At what cost? At the cost of my health? My life? The time that I spend with family, Bern and my friends? So what if I get 4.2? Will I stop there? Chances are that I will aim for 4.5 after that. At the rate I'm pushing myself, any harder I might drop dead. Today, I took a day off from school and had a long talk with friends and Bern. I spent the whole journey home thinking of what I should do... I told myself that I have already experienced what it is like to be near the top and that's enough already. Nevertheless, I wouldn't say it was entirely a mistake to work so hard as I have built up a substantial amount of decent stuff for my portfolio as a result of that. But it's time to take a breather. Never mind my teachers' expectations, never mind my ever growing expectations of myself, I should just take a step back, slow down my pace and sleep, eat, play, love, live like a normal person. I'm Spiderman no more. Eh eh no no! I mean, erm... I'm zombie no more? Haha.

It is time for me to learn to let go of some stuff.

To let go does not mean giving up, and definitely not giving up my dreams. I guess I was too stucked to, or rather, too extreme on the idea that I must never give up on any piece of work. Letting go simply means that I should not be so hard on myself. Keep everything within my capabilities as a normal good student and not as a machine, superman, spiderman or whatever man you want to call it, but simply as a man. On another note, letting go of some things will surely let me gain in other aspects of life!

You could say that I allowed myself to lose this assignment war this time. I think subconsciously I had been planning for it to happen so that I can force myself to open up my eyes and see through the entire situation. Now I actually find it amusing to see it as a challenge for me to let go. My life is never short of challenges. Lol.

Today, I had a peaceful and deep sleep when I came home just now. Only when I woke up hours later then I realized it has been a really long time since I last woke up in peace and felt truly rested. It feels really good.

Oh yah, the sky was blue today, right, Bern? <3 :)